WEBVTT
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Welcome to toddlers made easy.
00:00:07.280 --> 00:00:07.919
I'm Dr.
00:00:08.080 --> 00:00:13.119
Catherine, your host, and today we're gonna talk about the power of chores.
00:00:13.679 --> 00:00:23.199
Recently, a mom told me, every evening my two-year-old Jackie puts an unfolded napkin on each dinner plate before we sit down.
00:00:23.440 --> 00:00:30.320
Now most people would say a two-year-old is too young for that, but I believe it helps her feel valued and needed.
00:00:30.480 --> 00:00:37.920
And that really stuck with me because it reminded me of a note that's been hanging in my kitchen cupboard for the last 30 years.
00:00:38.159 --> 00:00:48.960
You see, we've lived in the same house since my kids were little, and if you walk into the kitchen and you open the left kitchen cupboard door, there's a napkin tucked to the inside.
00:00:49.200 --> 00:00:54.719
My youngest wrote a note in grade one and tacked it up, and it's a list of things we owe her.
00:00:54.880 --> 00:00:56.640
Apparently I owe her three dollars.
00:00:56.799 --> 00:01:03.759
She staked a claim to the house for when she's older, and then there's also a list of chores she's planned to take on.
00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:06.560
We never assigned her any of these chores.
00:01:06.719 --> 00:01:11.439
She came up with them herself, and I smile every time I open that cupboard.
00:01:11.599 --> 00:01:16.000
Now she's a lawyer, and she maintains that that list is legally binding.
00:01:16.239 --> 00:01:20.560
I think about that a lot because nobody told my youngest to contribute.
00:01:20.719 --> 00:01:22.000
She just wanted to.
00:01:22.239 --> 00:01:24.000
That's the thing about little kids.
00:01:24.159 --> 00:01:27.840
They're genuinely enthusiastic about helping.
00:01:28.079 --> 00:01:32.000
Not in an I'll do it if you remind me fourteen times way.
00:01:32.239 --> 00:01:33.760
They actually want to help.
00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:36.480
They want to be part of what you're doing.
00:01:36.719 --> 00:01:43.840
Now that desire isn't gonna last forever, which is exactly why it's worth paying attention to right now.
00:01:44.079 --> 00:01:52.000
I've been listening to this audiobook, Hunt, Gather, Parent by Micheline Duklef, I'm sorry, I'm sure I'm not saying the name right.
00:01:52.159 --> 00:01:53.680
And it really stayed with me.
00:01:53.840 --> 00:02:01.519
She's a doctor who spent time living with families in different communities around the world, and she brought her little three year old daughter along with her.
00:02:01.760 --> 00:02:10.400
One of the things she talks about is how Mayan parents in Mexico involved their kids in household tasks from the moment they can walk.
00:02:10.560 --> 00:02:15.840
Not as a lesson, not as a structured activity, just as part of life.
00:02:16.080 --> 00:02:22.159
And the kids grow up assuming that participating is normal, because it's always been that way.
00:02:22.319 --> 00:02:26.240
Now when toddlers are included that way, something clicks.
00:02:26.479 --> 00:02:31.759
They start to feel like they matter to the family, that their effort means something.
00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:39.199
That feeling of being a real contributor builds something in kids that's hard to create in any other way.
00:02:39.439 --> 00:02:50.400
A few weeks ago I was at a family birthday party for the two year old, and at one point I noticed my teenage nephew quietly cleaning up toys that had spilled into the hallway.
00:02:50.639 --> 00:02:52.240
Nobody asked him to do that.
00:02:52.479 --> 00:02:54.159
He didn't make a thing of it.
00:02:54.400 --> 00:02:57.360
He just saw something that needed doing and did it.
00:02:57.520 --> 00:03:03.840
And I thought about his parents and the years they've spent building that exact instinct in him.
00:03:04.080 --> 00:03:06.159
That doesn't happen by accident.
00:03:06.479 --> 00:03:10.479
That sense of responsibility and belonging starts young.
00:03:10.719 --> 00:03:14.479
Now, I'm not saying your toddler needs a chore chart.
00:03:14.639 --> 00:03:16.240
In fact, I'm saying the opposite.
00:03:16.479 --> 00:03:34.560
I'm saying look for those teeny tiny small moments where they can contribute, like putting the napkins on the table, or let them carry something to the garbage can, water a plant, sort the socks with you, toss the salad, wipe something down alongside you.
00:03:34.879 --> 00:03:37.759
The task itself doesn't really matter that much.
00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:42.719
What matters is that your child feels a real part of the household.
00:03:42.879 --> 00:03:45.120
They feel valued and needed.
00:03:45.439 --> 00:03:49.439
My almost three-year-old granddaughter Sloane is a good example.
00:03:49.680 --> 00:03:59.520
Every time she comes to visit, she walks in, she sits down on the front steps, she takes off her shoes or boots, and she lines them up next to everyone else's by the door.
00:03:59.759 --> 00:04:01.280
No one asks her to do it.
00:04:01.439 --> 00:04:03.439
She's not really even praised for it.
00:04:03.599 --> 00:04:07.039
She doesn't get any pats in the back, but you can see it on her face.
00:04:07.199 --> 00:04:08.639
She actually feels proud.
00:04:08.879 --> 00:04:10.960
And that's the power of chores.
00:04:11.520 --> 00:04:22.079
And you can tell from these examples that toddler chores, they need to be really tiny, small enough that a child can actually complete them successfully.
00:04:22.319 --> 00:04:24.639
Because that's what builds confidence.
00:04:24.800 --> 00:04:34.560
It's not about the chore, it's about the feeling of I did that, or I helped my family, or I'm part of my family.
00:04:34.959 --> 00:04:46.800
Now when I look back on raising my four wonderful now adult kids, introducing chores early was an important thing we did because they learned I can do hard things.
00:04:47.040 --> 00:04:48.720
I'm a part of this family.
00:04:48.879 --> 00:04:52.480
And once kids believe that, it shapes everything.
00:04:52.720 --> 00:04:58.560
So try not to think of chores in that traditional sense, especially when we're talking about young kids.
00:04:58.720 --> 00:05:02.319
It's not something dreaded or something that has to be nagged about.
00:05:02.720 --> 00:05:08.240
At this age, it's really just about finding ways to include your child in real life.
00:05:08.560 --> 00:05:09.759
Real life work.
00:05:10.160 --> 00:05:13.920
And you know, the funny thing is kids can do so much more than you think.
00:05:14.240 --> 00:05:18.560
So the next time your toddler tugs at your sleeve wanting to help, let them.
00:05:18.879 --> 00:05:20.639
Even if it takes twice as long.
00:05:20.879 --> 00:05:23.279
Actually, especially if it takes twice as long.
00:05:23.600 --> 00:05:34.879
Now you're not going to be able to have the time to do that all the time, but when you can, we spend so much of our parenting energy focused on fixing misbehavior.
00:05:35.120 --> 00:05:51.279
And here's a lovely reminder that big hearted parenting also means recognizing our youngest kids as competent and capable and planting the seeds now for helping them become the best version of themselves.
00:05:51.600 --> 00:05:58.000
Now, if big hearted parenting resonates with you, take a look at our toddlers made easy online course.
00:05:58.240 --> 00:06:01.360
Thank you for listening and keep up the good work.
00:00:04.959 --> 00:00:07.120
Welcome to toddlers made easy.
00:00:07.280 --> 00:00:07.919
I'm Dr.
00:00:08.080 --> 00:00:13.119
Catherine, your host, and today we're gonna talk about the power of chores.
00:00:13.679 --> 00:00:23.199
Recently, a mom told me, every evening my two-year-old Jackie puts an unfolded napkin on each dinner plate before we sit down.
00:00:23.440 --> 00:00:30.320
Now most people would say a two-year-old is too young for that, but I believe it helps her feel valued and needed.
00:00:30.480 --> 00:00:37.920
And that really stuck with me because it reminded me of a note that's been hanging in my kitchen cupboard for the last 30 years.
00:00:38.159 --> 00:00:48.960
You see, we've lived in the same house since my kids were little, and if you walk into the kitchen and you open the left kitchen cupboard door, there's a napkin tucked to the inside.
00:00:49.200 --> 00:00:54.719
My youngest wrote a note in grade one and tacked it up, and it's a list of things we owe her.
00:00:54.880 --> 00:00:56.640
Apparently I owe her three dollars.
00:00:56.799 --> 00:01:03.759
She staked a claim to the house for when she's older, and then there's also a list of chores she's planned to take on.
00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:06.560
We never assigned her any of these chores.
00:01:06.719 --> 00:01:11.439
She came up with them herself, and I smile every time I open that cupboard.
00:01:11.599 --> 00:01:16.000
Now she's a lawyer, and she maintains that that list is legally binding.
00:01:16.239 --> 00:01:20.560
I think about that a lot because nobody told my youngest to contribute.
00:01:20.719 --> 00:01:22.000
She just wanted to.
00:01:22.239 --> 00:01:24.000
That's the thing about little kids.
00:01:24.159 --> 00:01:27.840
They're genuinely enthusiastic about helping.
00:01:28.079 --> 00:01:32.000
Not in an I'll do it if you remind me fourteen times way.
00:01:32.239 --> 00:01:33.760
They actually want to help.
00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:36.480
They want to be part of what you're doing.
00:01:36.719 --> 00:01:43.840
Now that desire isn't gonna last forever, which is exactly why it's worth paying attention to right now.
00:01:44.079 --> 00:01:52.000
I've been listening to this audiobook, Hunt, Gather, Parent by Micheline Duklef, I'm sorry, I'm sure I'm not saying the name right.
00:01:52.159 --> 00:01:53.680
And it really stayed with me.
00:01:53.840 --> 00:02:01.519
She's a doctor who spent time living with families in different communities around the world, and she brought her little three year old daughter along with her.
00:02:01.760 --> 00:02:10.400
One of the things she talks about is how Mayan parents in Mexico involved their kids in household tasks from the moment they can walk.
00:02:10.560 --> 00:02:15.840
Not as a lesson, not as a structured activity, just as part of life.
00:02:16.080 --> 00:02:22.159
And the kids grow up assuming that participating is normal, because it's always been that way.
00:02:22.319 --> 00:02:26.240
Now when toddlers are included that way, something clicks.
00:02:26.479 --> 00:02:31.759
They start to feel like they matter to the family, that their effort means something.
00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:39.199
That feeling of being a real contributor builds something in kids that's hard to create in any other way.
00:02:39.439 --> 00:02:50.400
A few weeks ago I was at a family birthday party for the two year old, and at one point I noticed my teenage nephew quietly cleaning up toys that had spilled into the hallway.
00:02:50.639 --> 00:02:52.240
Nobody asked him to do that.
00:02:52.479 --> 00:02:54.159
He didn't make a thing of it.
00:02:54.400 --> 00:02:57.360
He just saw something that needed doing and did it.
00:02:57.520 --> 00:03:03.840
And I thought about his parents and the years they've spent building that exact instinct in him.
00:03:04.080 --> 00:03:06.159
That doesn't happen by accident.
00:03:06.479 --> 00:03:10.479
That sense of responsibility and belonging starts young.
00:03:10.719 --> 00:03:14.479
Now, I'm not saying your toddler needs a chore chart.
00:03:14.639 --> 00:03:16.240
In fact, I'm saying the opposite.
00:03:16.479 --> 00:03:34.560
I'm saying look for those teeny tiny small moments where they can contribute, like putting the napkins on the table, or let them carry something to the garbage can, water a plant, sort the socks with you, toss the salad, wipe something down alongside you.
00:03:34.879 --> 00:03:37.759
The task itself doesn't really matter that much.
00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:42.719
What matters is that your child feels a real part of the household.
00:03:42.879 --> 00:03:45.120
They feel valued and needed.
00:03:45.439 --> 00:03:49.439
My almost three-year-old granddaughter Sloane is a good example.
00:03:49.680 --> 00:03:59.520
Every time she comes to visit, she walks in, she sits down on the front steps, she takes off her shoes or boots, and she lines them up next to everyone else's by the door.
00:03:59.759 --> 00:04:01.280
No one asks her to do it.
00:04:01.439 --> 00:04:03.439
She's not really even praised for it.
00:04:03.599 --> 00:04:07.039
She doesn't get any pats in the back, but you can see it on her face.
00:04:07.199 --> 00:04:08.639
She actually feels proud.
00:04:08.879 --> 00:04:10.960
And that's the power of chores.
00:04:11.520 --> 00:04:22.079
And you can tell from these examples that toddler chores, they need to be really tiny, small enough that a child can actually complete them successfully.
00:04:22.319 --> 00:04:24.639
Because that's what builds confidence.
00:04:24.800 --> 00:04:34.560
It's not about the chore, it's about the feeling of I did that, or I helped my family, or I'm part of my family.
00:04:34.959 --> 00:04:46.800
Now when I look back on raising my four wonderful now adult kids, introducing chores early was an important thing we did because they learned I can do hard things.
00:04:47.040 --> 00:04:48.720
I'm a part of this family.
00:04:48.879 --> 00:04:52.480
And once kids believe that, it shapes everything.
00:04:52.720 --> 00:04:58.560
So try not to think of chores in that traditional sense, especially when we're talking about young kids.
00:04:58.720 --> 00:05:02.319
It's not something dreaded or something that has to be nagged about.
00:05:02.720 --> 00:05:08.240
At this age, it's really just about finding ways to include your child in real life.
00:05:08.560 --> 00:05:09.759
Real life work.
00:05:10.160 --> 00:05:13.920
And you know, the funny thing is kids can do so much more than you think.
00:05:14.240 --> 00:05:18.560
So the next time your toddler tugs at your sleeve wanting to help, let them.
00:05:18.879 --> 00:05:20.639
Even if it takes twice as long.
00:05:20.879 --> 00:05:23.279
Actually, especially if it takes twice as long.
00:05:23.600 --> 00:05:34.879
Now you're not going to be able to have the time to do that all the time, but when you can, we spend so much of our parenting energy focused on fixing misbehavior.
00:05:35.120 --> 00:05:51.279
And here's a lovely reminder that big hearted parenting also means recognizing our youngest kids as competent and capable and planting the seeds now for helping them become the best version of themselves.
00:05:51.600 --> 00:05:58.000
Now, if big hearted parenting resonates with you, take a look at our toddlers made easy online course.
00:05:58.240 --> 00:06:01.360
Thank you for listening and keep up the good work.
