WEBVTT
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[SPEAKER_01]: Confidence is often misunderstood.
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[SPEAKER_01]: People treat confidence like a personality trait.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You either have or you don't.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But neuroscience tells us that it behaves much more like a skill.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And here's the shift.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Confidence doesn't come before action.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Confidence is built because of action.
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[SPEAKER_01]: In today's episode, we're unpacking how confidence is actually built, how to make confident decisions, why women underestimate themselves, and why having the right community can become the net that helps you take bigger leaps.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Let's get started.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the Real Estate Investor podcast, a top 1% show helping women achieve financial freedom by investing in real estate.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And now, your host, Liz Faircloth and Andressa Gidelli.
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[SPEAKER_02]: confidence is not something that you Google it or you order on Amazon.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's something that you already have within you and in today's episode we're going to be dissecting lessons that how can you increase the confidence that you already have.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And if you were thinking, oh, and I am not confident.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Stick around.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Stick around my dear.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So the number one strategy here is leverage the confidence that you're already half period.
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[SPEAKER_02]: But we're giving you some statistics here that will prove my point.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So 71% of men rate themselves as having high investment knowledge versus 54% of women.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Think about it, 71 and 54, okay?
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[SPEAKER_02]: And then 49% of men say they feel comfortable making vestment decisions versus 34% of women.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And here is the plot twist.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Women often perform as well as men about 40, 40 basis points annually.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So we don't have a competition gap, we have a confidence gap.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So the point that we're trying to make it here is that your perception is not equal, actually the level of confidence that you already have.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So where can we find it?
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[SPEAKER_02]: evidence in the past because that's where the clue is and I want you to think about confidence as something that you can develop, not something that you are just, oh, this is the amount that I have.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You're able to develop.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And there is a difference between skills and personality.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So let's get to that point list because I want to make sure that every single person that has a different type of personality getting their confidence in different ways.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So can you give me some examples here of introverts, extroverts, dominant, more quiet people?
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[SPEAKER_02]: How do they gain their confidence?
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know, most people listening right on just a have a sense of who they might be or where, you know, they're more introverted, extroverted.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And that's not even what we're talking about.
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[SPEAKER_01]: The more important part is to know some of our personality traits and our core behaviors because we can increase our confidence as a result.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's the part that most people don't even realize.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So come either this or this and that's nice to know and it doesn't serve me and actually, you know, increasing my confidence.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So a couple of examples, if you are more of an extroverted person, I'm gonna start there.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Those are the core behaviors that you're referring to.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, if you're more of a people person, if you will, more expressive in your style of communication than quieter.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes what happens on dress of those people are viewed as more confident.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So in other words, the more someone talks, the more confident they're perceived, and that could be the furthest from the truth.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Just because someone talks a lot, does not mean they're confident.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And just because someone is quiet doesn't mean they're not confidence.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So that's just a sidebar, but in terms of just where somebody that is more expressive increases their confidence is typically in new areas, they're talking things through the gaining feedback.
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[SPEAKER_01]: There's almost like a feedback loop.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And as they're talking something through, as they're getting feedback, they find themselves feeling more confident.
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[SPEAKER_01]: and sometimes it's a feeling, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's not a, I'm zero to 10.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's a little, usually a little bit of a dial.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Another example is if somebody is more, more fact-based, they're more logical people.
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[SPEAKER_01]: They're going to gain confidence by, I can dress it, was just mentioning a little more evidence, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Information, quite honestly, facts.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Facts are the way they're going to gain confidence in something.
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[SPEAKER_01]: not opinions, facts, not opinions, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then, you know, I see it a lot with the women in investor is that women either sometimes are naturally have become detail oriented or they've they've needed to become detail-oriented, but I do believe there are women who are kind of wired, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Have that attention to detail by nature.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And the part of the comments piece is knowledge, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: The more we learn, the more information we glean in something, a market, a strategy,
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[SPEAKER_01]: are confidence increases.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And that's not for everyone.
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[SPEAKER_01]: People that are not as much like that are not going to need to do 80 hours of research, but some people are going to feel more comfortable and confident as they get that research, as they do the work on the information gathering.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So the bottom line is to kind of know where your confidence has come from in the past and just and I were just talking as we're preparing for this.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And just we've all had moments, like what
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was a 10 out of 10 on confidence.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Typically, it came from, there was a reason for it real estate or not real estate really.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But we all had those high confident moments in our lives.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And that's what we really want to encourage you to think about.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then to say, what is it for me?
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[SPEAKER_01]: What is it really for me?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Can I leverage and tap into areas of already been confident?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I'll give you guys an example that we are going through right now.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We are building a fund where passive investors are going to be able to invest in women-led projects.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And the women-led projects are operators that we've had them and the deals.
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[SPEAKER_02]: This is an area.
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[SPEAKER_02]: The fund itself is an area that we haven't done before.
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[SPEAKER_02]: However, we have a really good pulse on our operators and what passive investors really want from our community or confident in serving and creating a win-win there.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Now it comes down to the process, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's a big elephant to eat.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And if I look at that as a big elephant along some, it's too big.
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[SPEAKER_02]: then I start questioning it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So for all of you that are listening or watching it right now, whatever project you are facing in front of you, that is a new path for you, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's a lump sum.
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[SPEAKER_02]: What we are doing is breaking in down in phases.
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[SPEAKER_02]: and obviously not relying on ourselves to figure it every piece of it out.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We are seeking people that have done similar things that we're looking to do, collaborations, reaching out to operators and other passive investors, and really getting a sense of what we need to put in place here to create a very solid foundation, prove the point.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Why I'm saying that I'm breaking things down and I encourage you to also do that is that then it becomes a doable project of phase one.
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[SPEAKER_02]: If phase one, it's complete successfully.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I gain more confidence to go to phase two.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And it gives me evidence that I am on the right path, versus spending a ton of time putting this huge project together, obviously we have a business plan and I skeleton of it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: But I'm not gonna develop every single little piece of it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: until phase one is successfully developed.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So for you, it doesn't matter what it is, if it is a new construction or you are going to a new asset class or a new market, break it it down in smaller pieces because as you complete phase one, you're getting more confidence because you are taking action and you're seeing the
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[SPEAKER_02]: with that.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And we are talking to other people as well, right, list.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So I highly recommend you to reach out because then you're fulfilling the your personality trades.
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[SPEAKER_02]: For me, it's data.
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[SPEAKER_02]: For Liz will be really connecting with other people.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So we are really combining all our skills.
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[SPEAKER_02]: What everybody brings to the table and gives us confidence on on moving forward.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, absolutely.
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[SPEAKER_02]: All right, so the strategy number one is go with it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Strategy number two, it is take action, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: And then many people might say, well, I don't feel like it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I don't feel like taking action because I'm not confident in taking that action.
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[SPEAKER_02]: In confidence comes from taking action.
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[SPEAKER_02]: you took a action and you're like, whoo, that was not that bad, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: And then you, you like this, you keep going.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that that is the ultimate goal here when people are taking, of course.
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[SPEAKER_02]: your strategic action.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I don't even need, if you're listening to this, you are a woman, you already strategically thinking, how can you overcome obstacles?
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[SPEAKER_02]: But the action piece of moving the needle forward is what will give you.
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[SPEAKER_02]: confidence and not the other way around.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So instead of like ruminated and questioning yourself, the ultimate goal is for you to, okay, what works for me to make the decision here?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Like a type of a framework, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no absolutely, and one quick thing to mention is that we often think actions, kind of like you were just saying about the priorities, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Breaking those up.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We often think actions have to be so big, and then we get overwhelmed and we do nothing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And something that you and I have taught, and we've seen through our master classes and you know, our different sessions we've done with our, our, our, our, our, our, our
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[SPEAKER_01]: So start thinking of as micro-actions, micro-decisions.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's not just these big actions or big decisions.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's usually the small ones, and those are more doable.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And so what really is important there is that you don't get stopped by the big decisions or the big actions.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You start making those small micro-decisions micro-actions.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So in that builds your confidence, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Let me give you an example for our people that are listening of that, because they're like,
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's the action that you're like, what, of course, I can do that.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Of course, I can actually do more of that.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So it's for example, send that email to the broker that you want to grab coffee with.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Call the property management company that you're not happy with or send that email.
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[SPEAKER_02]: That you really want to get into alignment, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: You if you want to go to that go to that now working in that event in your community that you want to start And be teaching show up RSVP right is not even attending is the yes Really, it's that the whole analogy of putting your sneakers on you want to start going to the gym more just put your sneakers on
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[SPEAKER_01]: That's it, and I'm just saying you and I have learned the power of decisive action, not just because we built our own confidence based on who we are, but it's also about screwing yourself with peers with colleagues and, you know, they're lessons have become our lessons.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So one of the sessions and he notes at investor con.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so I'm so excited about every keynote and every session, but I'm so excited to have Alicia St. Germaine.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She is one of our been a mentor within our tribe community and within the investor community and she's gonna be talking specifically about decisive action and how women can move from hesitation to decisive action and sometimes it seems simpler that it is but a lot of women are in that space of hesitation and in decision and that's not serving you
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[SPEAKER_01]: And so she's going to go through one of her frameworks that now advantage framework and really break this down, which she does amazingly, because she's trained over like 10,000 real estate entrepreneurs on these very concepts.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So you will leave that session with being able to say, okay, where do I need to make decisive action?
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[SPEAKER_01]: So that it builds your confidence that you already have.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So really excited about that session, but she'll be there speaking and engaging with our community and investor consult.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You've heard us say before, real estate is a relationship business.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And one of the most powerful ways to build those relationships is through meaningful conversations.
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[SPEAKER_01]: That's one of the reasons we love podcasting.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's allowed us to connect with incredible women, build deeper relationships, and open doors to opportunities we never expected.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But to keep the show running consistently at a high level, we don't do it alone.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We've been an amazing team behind us at social chameleon who handles all the behind-the-scenes work, the production, the content, and distribution so we can stay focused on serving you and growing at business.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So if you've ever thought about starting your own podcast or taking it to the next level, they can help you do the same.
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[SPEAKER_01]: With social chameleon, you press record and they handle the rest.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Check them out at socialchameleon.us.
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[SPEAKER_01]: That's socialchameleon.us.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So let's go to the third strategy and this is really crucial for you to build your confidence.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It comes down to your support system.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So let me ask you a question, would you be willing to jump out of the top of a mountain if you knew that there was a net?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Is this a question for me?
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[SPEAKER_02]: For everybody that is listening.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I have fun waiting.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I have done bungee jumping, you know that.
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[SPEAKER_02]: That's right, then you come try to convince me to go.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Twice.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Sky diving and that's a no, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's Sky diving.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Listen, I don't do...
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[SPEAKER_01]: On the corner, roller coaster of small parks, kidding, I don't get my adventure needs net through my amazing relationship with on dress, so we do have things like that.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I want to go around the lazy river, I'm in.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I like that too, though, so that works.
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[SPEAKER_02]: That's it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: But the point here is, I was sure it's something, you don't know this list.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, no.
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[SPEAKER_02]: No, you don't know this.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So,
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[SPEAKER_02]: I was supposed to buy a house next door, but somebody else bought it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I knew that, you know, that far, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: But here's what happened after, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: And listen, God bless.
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[SPEAKER_02]: They're almost ready to list it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I hope it goes very well.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We have to go well, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Because it will affect the price of mine house.
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[SPEAKER_02]: But the bottom line is they build a fence on the other side of the house.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And it's an e-word that I know.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And then she came to me and say, hey, I think they build a fence on my land.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, well, well, well, let's first verify the date.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Get your checkbook out, get your checkbook out and you're at a pay me first.
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[SPEAKER_02]: No, no, I'm like, well, let's verify the date, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Let's see where he's your line.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Do you have a survey or the date I itself and then what's coming up for her?
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[SPEAKER_02]: And she's a very confident person.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, I don't want to bother them.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to delay anything for them.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to be dead neighbor for them.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, hold on a second.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Hold on a second.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You are not doing anything that is own fair.
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[SPEAKER_02]: First of all, as very far to date, I indeed, they were a couple of feet there.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And then she's like, okay, what's next?
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[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, well, let's have a conversation with the individual and say, well, does not gonna work.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And then the individual said, well, we can have it on the contract when the new buyer gets it that you will have access to it if you need it on like, anyways,
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[SPEAKER_02]: Muddy.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Let me get a few opinions over here.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Anyway, long story short.
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[SPEAKER_02]: No, they're moving the pants.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, okay.
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[SPEAKER_01]: What did you do?
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[SPEAKER_02]: You're moving the fence and then she's like, I own you that because you gave me clarity and confidence into making the decision and I also talk to you encourage me to talk to a survey to the folks that my contractor that the bill defense as well to see it, what would be the impact.
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[SPEAKER_02]: There's a couple of items there that will impact a lot of different things, not just a simple fence.
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[SPEAKER_02]: They have a
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[SPEAKER_02]: I structure issue that should be taking care of, but in a nutshell, she's super confident now in really saying and standing her ground, they say, hey, does this actually my property and I actually need you to do that?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Lillian, as you guys didn't, did she know?
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[SPEAKER_01]: This isn't an interesting point about building your confidence to a support system, the right support system.
18:00.892 --> 18:01.633
[SPEAKER_01]: in real estate.
18:01.933 --> 18:03.535
[SPEAKER_01]: Or did she just ask you as a neighbor?
18:03.595 --> 18:05.557
[SPEAKER_01]: No, she knew it.
18:05.577 --> 18:10.382
[SPEAKER_02]: She knew it and that's why she's like really want to bring this to you.
18:11.483 --> 18:17.909
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that because you can you can go to a support system and ask them if it's a good time to invest in real estate or how it's a smart kid.
18:17.929 --> 18:19.951
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, you're the funny thing that you're saying now.
18:19.971 --> 18:23.595
[SPEAKER_02]: So she went to the other neighbor, right?
18:23.775 --> 18:30.342
[SPEAKER_02]: She works in a university and all of the said in both of them were knocking in my door because they didn't know
18:30.693 --> 18:31.094
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
18:31.394 --> 18:31.975
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
18:32.476 --> 18:32.977
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
18:32.997 --> 18:47.385
[SPEAKER_02]: That's actually what happened, but that's the funny thing is that she now feels not just confident but in peace that she made the right decision because I'm like, I want you to think ears down the road.
18:47.872 --> 18:56.320
[SPEAKER_02]: what can and cannot happen you want to make it right so you kind of like deal with it now or later or never.
18:56.621 --> 18:57.101
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
18:57.301 --> 18:58.062
[SPEAKER_02]: But I love that.
18:58.082 --> 18:59.784
[SPEAKER_02]: It's funny that you're breaking that down.
19:00.204 --> 19:01.025
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they book came.
19:01.826 --> 19:07.592
[SPEAKER_01]: They both came and then you have all these people you're like, listen, listen, come to invest your coin and we'll come with all these things.
19:07.832 --> 19:09.133
[SPEAKER_01]: There's no for me.
19:09.193 --> 19:12.557
[SPEAKER_01]: For me it's about there's different layers of support system.
19:12.977 --> 19:17.862
[SPEAKER_01]: And in just a you've really you've said this before is just because someone has experience in
19:17.842 --> 19:19.184
[SPEAKER_01]: they may not have done it right.
19:19.224 --> 19:19.724
[SPEAKER_00]: That's right.
19:19.844 --> 19:28.654
[SPEAKER_01]: And I could be a quote unquote real estate investor, but I'm actually an active investor growing my portfolio right now in this particular market.
19:28.794 --> 19:31.578
[SPEAKER_01]: Very different question than I had buy and hold 20 years ago.
19:31.678 --> 19:35.082
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, well that yeah, so did most people in the early 2000s.
19:35.462 --> 19:39.867
[SPEAKER_01]: So for me, working on this luxury build new build in my community.
19:39.847 --> 19:41.369
[SPEAKER_01]: I've done a lot of things in real estate.
19:41.429 --> 19:54.102
[SPEAKER_01]: I've never done this high of a priced luxury build, but my confidence in my ability to build a team and to manage the project kind of globally, not the day to day, because I, that's not necessarily my expertise.
19:54.522 --> 19:56.584
[SPEAKER_01]: But my confidence was, okay, I can do this.
19:56.644 --> 19:57.945
[SPEAKER_01]: I know I can pull a team together.
19:58.366 --> 20:09.297
[SPEAKER_01]: For me, I needed to know I had a support system behind me for questions and things that might come up that I have an experience, right?
20:09.277 --> 20:27.256
[SPEAKER_01]: That didn't stop me from doing the deal and making it happen, if that makes sense, and dress up, because I feel like I have, I do have a support system, you know, even within our community of mentors and mentees, my relationship with you, other women that I know, and having a plus team.
20:27.276 --> 20:34.103
[SPEAKER_01]: I think there is a layer of support system that is your team, and then a support system that's not getting paid.
20:34.083 --> 20:56.648
[SPEAKER_01]: right they're not on the payroll if you will of the project and those are the people you need desperately because you can't figure it all out with your own kind of court team like is this is what the you know a plan should should be and learning a lot about luxury appliances on dress on like oh I need to do so much to my house right now but the world has been open I'm like I don't need to do that right now but the point being is is a support system.
20:57.117 --> 21:04.248
[SPEAKER_01]: of women doing the work actively investing and passively investing in two days market.
21:04.749 --> 21:05.971
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that really matters, right?
21:05.991 --> 21:08.595
[SPEAKER_01]: And dress to go to someone that's done it 20 years ago.
21:08.615 --> 21:15.185
[SPEAKER_02]: You said something like, you can, if you don't have the confidence into something, you can borrow it.
21:15.526 --> 21:17.129
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, what the hell you're talking about?
21:17.750 --> 21:20.634
[SPEAKER_02]: How can you borrow the confidence from others?
21:20.794 --> 21:23.158
[SPEAKER_02]: And what you were saying is exactly that,
21:23.138 --> 21:29.959
[SPEAKER_02]: If you put yourself in a place where people have done what you're looking to do, they're a confidence.
21:30.614 --> 21:32.176
[SPEAKER_02]: It's going to be yours.
21:32.597 --> 21:41.750
[SPEAKER_02]: They will come down your nervous system per se, because how many women we had conversations with, they were like freaking out with whatever was happening, right?
21:42.531 --> 21:49.881
[SPEAKER_02]: Law suit or something that flood that happened in their brain, you know, the deals about to get, you just lose the deal at the end, 11th hour, right?
21:49.901 --> 21:55.489
[SPEAKER_02]: 11th hour, literally 11th hour, you're talking about to lose the deal a couple of hours, right?
21:55.609 --> 21:57.111
[SPEAKER_02]: And they're freaking out.
21:57.091 --> 22:04.803
[SPEAKER_02]: So when you are able to say, hey, take a breath, let me connect with somebody, wait a minute, did you try this?
22:05.204 --> 22:08.249
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, did you just shut off the water film?
22:08.870 --> 22:17.163
[SPEAKER_02]: Or, you know, anything that will kind of like, oh, I didn't think of that, because you are just relying on yourself.
22:17.263 --> 22:21.410
[SPEAKER_02]: So having a community is like having a support net.
22:22.231 --> 22:22.912
[SPEAKER_02]: Think about this.
22:23.774 --> 22:24.735
[SPEAKER_02]: You will make
22:25.475 --> 22:28.173
[SPEAKER_02]: many more decisions confidently.
22:28.193 --> 22:29.663
[SPEAKER_02]: If you know
22:30.166 --> 22:37.158
[SPEAKER_02]: that if you fall, you have somebody that will support your figure things out and you're not alone.
22:37.178 --> 22:41.144
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not about just like, okay, how can I avoid it?
22:41.645 --> 22:43.288
[SPEAKER_02]: You might have avoided a lot.
22:43.568 --> 22:49.017
[SPEAKER_02]: If you rely on the community and share with them, hey, I'm about to do this partnership.
22:49.178 --> 22:53.144
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm about to land 500,000 into this deal.
22:53.625 --> 22:54.546
[SPEAKER_02]: This is a structure.
22:54.607 --> 22:56.089
[SPEAKER_02]: Those are the terms.
22:56.390 --> 22:57.512
[SPEAKER_02]: Is it green light?
22:57.552 --> 22:59.134
[SPEAKER_02]: Yellow or red flag?
22:59.354 --> 23:00.155
[SPEAKER_02]: Right, trade up.
23:01.357 --> 23:06.144
[SPEAKER_02]: You will reduce your risk and make much more confident decisions.
23:06.544 --> 23:09.729
[SPEAKER_02]: It's called a social buffering list in psychology.
23:10.650 --> 23:22.026
[SPEAKER_02]: When you really have people around you that you can leverage their resources, their intelligence,
23:22.917 --> 23:26.020
[SPEAKER_02]: Then you're, you're really powerful.
23:26.080 --> 23:30.824
[SPEAKER_02]: One thing that I said to my neighbor, she laughed, we were talking.
23:31.465 --> 23:34.908
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, I'm gonna go back to him and say exactly what you said to me here.
23:34.928 --> 23:43.595
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go there and have this conversation literally like, I was coaching her and she was going there to talk to the guy, hopefully he is not listening right now.
23:43.616 --> 23:50.882
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, so then I said to her, he doesn't know he's not dealing with only you.
23:51.790 --> 24:01.204
[SPEAKER_02]: He's dealing with you, me, my resources, everybody that I am reach out to the book track, the information.
24:01.765 --> 24:02.867
[SPEAKER_02]: So he doesn't know that.
24:03.508 --> 24:05.711
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, yes, he doesn't know that.
24:05.872 --> 24:08.736
[SPEAKER_02]: He's thinking that I'm just a regular neighbor.
24:08.716 --> 24:14.146
[SPEAKER_02]: and I have all of you behind me instructing me and guiding me through.
24:14.186 --> 24:17.852
[SPEAKER_02]: So I feel the same way with the women adding vast heart.
24:17.912 --> 24:18.794
[SPEAKER_02]: You're not alone.
24:18.834 --> 24:22.881
[SPEAKER_02]: You have a community of over 50,000 women behind you, honey.
24:23.382 --> 24:25.787
[SPEAKER_02]: So you better not gonna let you fall.
24:26.267 --> 24:33.340
[SPEAKER_02]: So if you're listening to it and you really feel like the need, like the call, to say,
24:34.315 --> 24:38.039
[SPEAKER_02]: done actually doing this on my own.
24:38.280 --> 24:47.010
[SPEAKER_02]: And I really want powerful group of women that I can trust that I can rely on when shit hits the fan, they will jump in.
24:48.292 --> 24:50.614
[SPEAKER_02]: Please, you found us.
24:51.756 --> 25:02.989
[SPEAKER_02]: The point is,
25:03.087 --> 25:10.402
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're listening to this episode until the end, is because you resonate with everything that we are saying to you here.
25:10.442 --> 25:14.229
[SPEAKER_02]: So, make a decision.
25:14.290 --> 25:16.033
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what to do.
25:17.127 --> 25:20.130
[SPEAKER_02]: It's on your core, the boys in your core right now.
25:20.971 --> 25:28.018
[SPEAKER_02]: June 14th and 16 Scott Steyra is on a, we'll leave the link below, Join InvestorCon.
25:28.599 --> 25:30.761
[SPEAKER_02]: It's an interactive event.
25:31.482 --> 25:33.264
[SPEAKER_02]: You're going to be doing the work there.
25:33.884 --> 25:38.850
[SPEAKER_02]: You're going to leave, not with new strategies, but with a support system.
25:39.210 --> 25:42.674
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's a commitment that Liz and I will guarantee.
25:43.575 --> 25:46.898
[SPEAKER_02]: And you bet, you can come and say,
25:46.878 --> 25:49.302
[SPEAKER_02]: You said that on the podcast, that's what I'm here.
25:49.683 --> 25:50.644
[SPEAKER_02]: Come here.
25:50.664 --> 25:50.925
[SPEAKER_02]: All right.
25:50.945 --> 25:52.167
[SPEAKER_02]: I will leave you the link below.
25:52.687 --> 25:54.010
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you so much for listening.
25:55.732 --> 25:56.774
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for listening.
25:57.055 --> 26:00.260
[SPEAKER_02]: I hope you found today's conversation valuable.
26:00.681 --> 26:04.306
[SPEAKER_02]: And don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss any future episodes.
26:04.887 --> 26:07.612
[SPEAKER_02]: Make sure this with the women in your life, many Sue here.
26:08.313 --> 26:09.595
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll see you next week.
00:00.031 --> 00:01.753
[SPEAKER_01]: Confidence is often misunderstood.
00:01.973 --> 00:04.455
[SPEAKER_01]: People treat confidence like a personality trait.
00:04.675 --> 00:06.077
[SPEAKER_01]: You either have or you don't.
00:06.657 --> 00:09.460
[SPEAKER_01]: But neuroscience tells us that it behaves much more like a skill.
00:09.980 --> 00:10.661
[SPEAKER_01]: And here's the shift.
00:10.941 --> 00:12.723
[SPEAKER_01]: Confidence doesn't come before action.
00:13.063 --> 00:15.045
[SPEAKER_01]: Confidence is built because of action.
00:15.465 --> 00:28.377
[SPEAKER_01]: In today's episode, we're unpacking how confidence is actually built, how to make confident decisions, why women underestimate themselves, and why having the right community can become the net that helps you take bigger leaps.
00:28.397 --> 00:29.278
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's get started.
00:31.368 --> 00:40.034
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the Real Estate Investor podcast, a top 1% show helping women achieve financial freedom by investing in real estate.
00:40.054 --> 00:43.504
[SPEAKER_00]: And now, your host, Liz Faircloth and Andressa Gidelli.
00:44.260 --> 00:50.150
[SPEAKER_02]: confidence is not something that you Google it or you order on Amazon.
00:51.512 --> 01:03.773
[SPEAKER_02]: It's something that you already have within you and in today's episode we're going to be dissecting lessons that how can you increase the confidence that you already have.
01:03.793 --> 01:08.040
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you were thinking, oh, and I am not confident.
01:08.020 --> 01:09.082
[SPEAKER_02]: Stick around.
01:09.562 --> 01:10.824
[SPEAKER_02]: Stick around my dear.
01:11.385 --> 01:18.897
[SPEAKER_02]: So the number one strategy here is leverage the confidence that you're already half period.
01:18.937 --> 01:25.287
[SPEAKER_02]: But we're giving you some statistics here that will prove my point.
01:25.828 --> 01:35.563
[SPEAKER_02]: So 71% of men rate themselves as having high investment knowledge versus 54% of women.
01:37.113 --> 01:39.437
[SPEAKER_02]: Think about it, 71 and 54, okay?
01:41.401 --> 01:49.857
[SPEAKER_02]: And then 49% of men say they feel comfortable making vestment decisions versus 34% of women.
01:50.518 --> 01:52.742
[SPEAKER_02]: And here is the plot twist.
01:53.313 --> 02:02.382
[SPEAKER_02]: Women often perform as well as men about 40, 40 basis points annually.
02:02.742 --> 02:07.006
[SPEAKER_02]: So we don't have a competition gap, we have a confidence gap.
02:07.026 --> 02:17.336
[SPEAKER_02]: So the point that we're trying to make it here is that your perception is not equal, actually the level of confidence that you already have.
02:17.996 --> 02:22.020
[SPEAKER_02]: So where can we find it?
02:22.928 --> 02:37.538
[SPEAKER_02]: evidence in the past because that's where the clue is and I want you to think about confidence as something that you can develop, not something that you are just, oh, this is the amount that I have.
02:37.598 --> 02:39.402
[SPEAKER_02]: You're able to develop.
02:39.382 --> 02:42.427
[SPEAKER_02]: And there is a difference between skills and personality.
02:42.447 --> 02:52.261
[SPEAKER_02]: So let's get to that point list because I want to make sure that every single person that has a different type of personality getting their confidence in different ways.
02:52.582 --> 02:58.871
[SPEAKER_02]: So can you give me some examples here of introverts, extroverts, dominant, more quiet people?
02:59.292 --> 03:01.896
[SPEAKER_02]: How do they gain their confidence?
03:02.197 --> 03:09.044
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, most people listening right on just a have a sense of who they might be or where, you know, they're more introverted, extroverted.
03:09.484 --> 03:11.086
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's not even what we're talking about.
03:11.626 --> 03:19.274
[SPEAKER_01]: The more important part is to know some of our personality traits and our core behaviors because we can increase our confidence as a result.
03:19.494 --> 03:22.617
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's the part that most people don't even realize.
03:22.917 --> 03:28.643
[SPEAKER_01]: So come either this or this and that's nice to know and it doesn't serve me and actually, you know, increasing my confidence.
03:28.623 --> 03:32.549
[SPEAKER_01]: So a couple of examples, if you are more of an extroverted person, I'm gonna start there.
03:33.130 --> 03:36.054
[SPEAKER_02]: Those are the core behaviors that you're referring to.
03:36.815 --> 03:43.045
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, if you're more of a people person, if you will, more expressive in your style of communication than quieter.
03:43.966 --> 03:47.832
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes what happens on dress of those people are viewed as more confident.
03:48.493 --> 03:54.342
[SPEAKER_01]: So in other words, the more someone talks, the more confident they're perceived, and that could be the furthest from the truth.
03:54.382 --> 03:57.567
[SPEAKER_01]: Just because someone talks a lot, does not mean they're confident.
03:57.547 --> 04:01.231
[SPEAKER_01]: And just because someone is quiet doesn't mean they're not confidence.
04:01.251 --> 04:12.402
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's just a sidebar, but in terms of just where somebody that is more expressive increases their confidence is typically in new areas, they're talking things through the gaining feedback.
04:12.683 --> 04:14.044
[SPEAKER_01]: There's almost like a feedback loop.
04:14.905 --> 04:21.732
[SPEAKER_01]: And as they're talking something through, as they're getting feedback, they find themselves feeling more confident.
04:21.712 --> 04:23.154
[SPEAKER_01]: and sometimes it's a feeling, right?
04:23.174 --> 04:24.717
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not a, I'm zero to 10.
04:24.757 --> 04:26.820
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a little, usually a little bit of a dial.
04:27.320 --> 04:31.887
[SPEAKER_01]: Another example is if somebody is more, more fact-based, they're more logical people.
04:32.448 --> 04:36.635
[SPEAKER_01]: They're going to gain confidence by, I can dress it, was just mentioning a little more evidence, right?
04:36.695 --> 04:39.238
[SPEAKER_01]: Information, quite honestly, facts.
04:40.000 --> 04:43.585
[SPEAKER_01]: Facts are the way they're going to gain confidence in something.
04:43.565 --> 04:46.408
[SPEAKER_01]: not opinions, facts, not opinions, right?
04:47.068 --> 05:01.501
[SPEAKER_01]: And then, you know, I see it a lot with the women in investor is that women either sometimes are naturally have become detail oriented or they've they've needed to become detail-oriented, but I do believe there are women who are kind of wired, right?
05:01.541 --> 05:03.503
[SPEAKER_01]: Have that attention to detail by nature.
05:03.543 --> 05:07.767
[SPEAKER_01]: And the part of the comments piece is knowledge, right?
05:07.807 --> 05:13.032
[SPEAKER_01]: The more we learn, the more information we glean in something, a market, a strategy,
05:13.012 --> 05:14.134
[SPEAKER_01]: are confidence increases.
05:14.675 --> 05:15.796
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's not for everyone.
05:15.897 --> 05:27.254
[SPEAKER_01]: People that are not as much like that are not going to need to do 80 hours of research, but some people are going to feel more comfortable and confident as they get that research, as they do the work on the information gathering.
05:27.735 --> 05:34.866
[SPEAKER_01]: So the bottom line is to kind of know where your confidence has come from in the past and just and I were just talking as we're preparing for this.
05:34.947 --> 05:39.694
[SPEAKER_01]: And just we've all had moments, like what
05:39.674 --> 05:42.237
[SPEAKER_01]: I was a 10 out of 10 on confidence.
05:42.637 --> 05:47.843
[SPEAKER_01]: Typically, it came from, there was a reason for it real estate or not real estate really.
05:47.863 --> 05:51.366
[SPEAKER_01]: But we all had those high confident moments in our lives.
05:51.427 --> 05:53.369
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's what we really want to encourage you to think about.
05:53.929 --> 05:55.491
[SPEAKER_01]: And then to say, what is it for me?
05:56.252 --> 05:57.313
[SPEAKER_01]: What is it really for me?
05:57.633 --> 06:02.659
[SPEAKER_01]: Can I leverage and tap into areas of already been confident?
06:02.679 --> 06:03.239
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
06:03.419 --> 06:06.863
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll give you guys an example that we are going through right now.
06:08.227 --> 06:16.564
[SPEAKER_02]: We are building a fund where passive investors are going to be able to invest in women-led projects.
06:17.365 --> 06:21.654
[SPEAKER_02]: And the women-led projects are operators that we've had them and the deals.
06:23.257 --> 06:24.279
[SPEAKER_02]: This is an area.
06:24.339 --> 06:28.868
[SPEAKER_02]: The fund itself is an area that we haven't done before.
06:29.506 --> 06:43.144
[SPEAKER_02]: However, we have a really good pulse on our operators and what passive investors really want from our community or confident in serving and creating a win-win there.
06:43.184 --> 06:45.788
[SPEAKER_02]: Now it comes down to the process, right?
06:46.248 --> 06:48.271
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a big elephant to eat.
06:48.731 --> 06:53.758
[SPEAKER_02]: And if I look at that as a big elephant along some, it's too big.
06:54.869 --> 06:57.394
[SPEAKER_02]: then I start questioning it.
06:58.437 --> 07:09.641
[SPEAKER_02]: So for all of you that are listening or watching it right now, whatever project you are facing in front of you, that is a new path for you, right?
07:09.781 --> 07:10.703
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a lump sum.
07:11.365 --> 07:15.173
[SPEAKER_02]: What we are doing is breaking in down in phases.
07:15.372 --> 07:23.340
[SPEAKER_02]: and obviously not relying on ourselves to figure it every piece of it out.
07:23.360 --> 07:42.038
[SPEAKER_02]: We are seeking people that have done similar things that we're looking to do, collaborations, reaching out to operators and other passive investors, and really getting a sense of what we need to put in place here to create a very solid foundation, prove the point.
07:43.047 --> 07:53.717
[SPEAKER_02]: Why I'm saying that I'm breaking things down and I encourage you to also do that is that then it becomes a doable project of phase one.
07:54.459 --> 07:58.170
[SPEAKER_02]: If phase one, it's complete successfully.
07:59.618 --> 08:02.564
[SPEAKER_02]: I gain more confidence to go to phase two.
08:03.065 --> 08:16.511
[SPEAKER_02]: And it gives me evidence that I am on the right path, versus spending a ton of time putting this huge project together, obviously we have a business plan and I skeleton of it.
08:16.871 --> 08:21.340
[SPEAKER_02]: But I'm not gonna develop every single little piece of it.
08:21.320 --> 08:25.845
[SPEAKER_02]: until phase one is successfully developed.
08:25.865 --> 08:44.948
[SPEAKER_02]: So for you, it doesn't matter what it is, if it is a new construction or you are going to a new asset class or a new market, break it it down in smaller pieces because as you complete phase one, you're getting more confidence because you are taking action and you're seeing the
08:44.928 --> 08:45.569
[SPEAKER_02]: with that.
08:45.949 --> 08:48.612
[SPEAKER_02]: And we are talking to other people as well, right, list.
08:48.632 --> 08:54.358
[SPEAKER_02]: So I highly recommend you to reach out because then you're fulfilling the your personality trades.
08:54.458 --> 08:55.539
[SPEAKER_02]: For me, it's data.
08:55.559 --> 08:59.263
[SPEAKER_02]: For Liz will be really connecting with other people.
08:59.343 --> 09:03.348
[SPEAKER_02]: So we are really combining all our skills.
09:03.408 --> 09:07.893
[SPEAKER_02]: What everybody brings to the table and gives us confidence on on moving forward.
09:08.834 --> 09:10.075
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, absolutely.
09:10.527 --> 09:14.653
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, so the strategy number one is go with it.
09:15.714 --> 09:20.120
[SPEAKER_02]: Strategy number two, it is take action, right?
09:20.501 --> 09:24.847
[SPEAKER_02]: And then many people might say, well, I don't feel like it.
09:25.268 --> 09:29.794
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't feel like taking action because I'm not confident in taking that action.
09:30.034 --> 09:33.379
[SPEAKER_02]: In confidence comes from taking action.
09:33.916 --> 09:38.447
[SPEAKER_02]: you took a action and you're like, whoo, that was not that bad, right?
09:38.607 --> 09:42.757
[SPEAKER_02]: And then you, you like this, you keep going.
09:42.878 --> 09:49.714
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that that is the ultimate goal here when people are taking, of course.
09:49.694 --> 09:51.157
[SPEAKER_02]: your strategic action.
09:51.217 --> 09:58.493
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't even need, if you're listening to this, you are a woman, you already strategically thinking, how can you overcome obstacles?
09:59.035 --> 10:05.188
[SPEAKER_02]: But the action piece of moving the needle forward is what will give you.
10:05.168 --> 10:08.176
[SPEAKER_02]: confidence and not the other way around.
10:08.217 --> 10:18.044
[SPEAKER_02]: So instead of like ruminated and questioning yourself, the ultimate goal is for you to, okay, what works for me to make the decision here?
10:18.425 --> 10:20.832
[SPEAKER_02]: Like a type of a framework, right?
10:20.812 --> 10:29.545
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no absolutely, and one quick thing to mention is that we often think actions, kind of like you were just saying about the priorities, right?
10:29.946 --> 10:30.647
[SPEAKER_01]: Breaking those up.
10:30.908 --> 10:35.775
[SPEAKER_01]: We often think actions have to be so big, and then we get overwhelmed and we do nothing.
10:36.196 --> 10:48.034
[SPEAKER_01]: And something that you and I have taught, and we've seen through our master classes and you know, our different sessions we've done with our, our, our, our, our, our, our
10:48.014 --> 10:51.618
[SPEAKER_01]: So start thinking of as micro-actions, micro-decisions.
10:52.159 --> 10:55.423
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not just these big actions or big decisions.
10:55.503 --> 10:58.126
[SPEAKER_01]: It's usually the small ones, and those are more doable.
10:58.646 --> 11:05.194
[SPEAKER_01]: And so what really is important there is that you don't get stopped by the big decisions or the big actions.
11:05.655 --> 11:09.780
[SPEAKER_01]: You start making those small micro-decisions micro-actions.
11:09.800 --> 11:11.642
[SPEAKER_01]: So in that builds your confidence, right?
11:11.882 --> 11:17.869
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me give you an example for our people that are listening of that, because they're like,
11:17.849 --> 11:21.996
[SPEAKER_02]: It's the action that you're like, what, of course, I can do that.
11:22.417 --> 11:25.022
[SPEAKER_02]: Of course, I can actually do more of that.
11:25.483 --> 11:31.013
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's for example, send that email to the broker that you want to grab coffee with.
11:32.916 --> 11:37.304
[SPEAKER_02]: Call the property management company that you're not happy with or send that email.
11:37.745 --> 11:42.473
[SPEAKER_02]: That you really want to get into alignment, right?
11:42.453 --> 12:01.187
[SPEAKER_01]: You if you want to go to that go to that now working in that event in your community that you want to start And be teaching show up RSVP right is not even attending is the yes Really, it's that the whole analogy of putting your sneakers on you want to start going to the gym more just put your sneakers on
12:01.167 --> 12:16.408
[SPEAKER_01]: That's it, and I'm just saying you and I have learned the power of decisive action, not just because we built our own confidence based on who we are, but it's also about screwing yourself with peers with colleagues and, you know, they're lessons have become our lessons.
12:16.428 --> 12:19.592
[SPEAKER_01]: So one of the sessions and he notes at investor con.
12:19.632 --> 12:24.559
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so I'm so excited about every keynote and every session, but I'm so excited to have Alicia St. Germaine.
12:24.539 --> 12:47.458
[SPEAKER_01]: She is one of our been a mentor within our tribe community and within the investor community and she's gonna be talking specifically about decisive action and how women can move from hesitation to decisive action and sometimes it seems simpler that it is but a lot of women are in that space of hesitation and in decision and that's not serving you
12:47.438 --> 12:59.916
[SPEAKER_01]: And so she's going to go through one of her frameworks that now advantage framework and really break this down, which she does amazingly, because she's trained over like 10,000 real estate entrepreneurs on these very concepts.
12:59.976 --> 13:06.445
[SPEAKER_01]: So you will leave that session with being able to say, okay, where do I need to make decisive action?
13:06.826 --> 13:10.371
[SPEAKER_01]: So that it builds your confidence that you already have.
13:10.451 --> 13:17.040
[SPEAKER_01]: So really excited about that session, but she'll be there speaking and engaging with our community and investor consult.
13:17.020 --> 13:20.465
[SPEAKER_01]: You've heard us say before, real estate is a relationship business.
13:20.905 --> 13:25.512
[SPEAKER_01]: And one of the most powerful ways to build those relationships is through meaningful conversations.
13:25.953 --> 13:28.056
[SPEAKER_01]: That's one of the reasons we love podcasting.
13:28.456 --> 13:36.227
[SPEAKER_01]: It's allowed us to connect with incredible women, build deeper relationships, and open doors to opportunities we never expected.
13:36.207 --> 13:40.778
[SPEAKER_01]: But to keep the show running consistently at a high level, we don't do it alone.
13:41.139 --> 13:53.389
[SPEAKER_01]: We've been an amazing team behind us at social chameleon who handles all the behind-the-scenes work, the production, the content, and distribution so we can stay focused on serving you and growing at business.
13:53.369 --> 13:59.842
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you've ever thought about starting your own podcast or taking it to the next level, they can help you do the same.
14:00.323 --> 14:04.451
[SPEAKER_01]: With social chameleon, you press record and they handle the rest.
14:04.952 --> 14:07.978
[SPEAKER_01]: Check them out at socialchameleon.us.
14:08.098 --> 14:10.703
[SPEAKER_01]: That's socialchameleon.us.
14:11.915 --> 14:18.289
[SPEAKER_02]: So let's go to the third strategy and this is really crucial for you to build your confidence.
14:18.810 --> 14:21.235
[SPEAKER_02]: It comes down to your support system.
14:21.736 --> 14:29.873
[SPEAKER_02]: So let me ask you a question, would you be willing to jump out of the top of a mountain if you knew that there was a net?
14:29.853 --> 14:30.755
[SPEAKER_01]: Is this a question for me?
14:31.356 --> 14:32.719
[SPEAKER_02]: For everybody that is listening.
14:32.779 --> 14:33.741
[SPEAKER_01]: I have fun waiting.
14:35.164 --> 14:36.867
[SPEAKER_01]: I have done bungee jumping, you know that.
14:37.489 --> 14:40.755
[SPEAKER_02]: That's right, then you come try to convince me to go.
14:40.916 --> 14:41.176
[SPEAKER_01]: Twice.
14:41.998 --> 14:43.802
[SPEAKER_02]: Sky diving and that's a no, right?
14:44.203 --> 14:45.345
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's Sky diving.
14:46.126 --> 14:48.351
[SPEAKER_02]: Listen, I don't do...
14:48.331 --> 14:58.766
[SPEAKER_01]: On the corner, roller coaster of small parks, kidding, I don't get my adventure needs net through my amazing relationship with on dress, so we do have things like that.
14:58.786 --> 15:01.330
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to go around the lazy river, I'm in.
15:02.291 --> 15:03.753
[SPEAKER_01]: I like that too, though, so that works.
15:03.773 --> 15:04.074
[SPEAKER_02]: That's it.
15:04.615 --> 15:09.101
[SPEAKER_02]: But the point here is, I was sure it's something, you don't know this list.
15:09.802 --> 15:10.083
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, no.
15:10.283 --> 15:11.545
[SPEAKER_02]: No, you don't know this.
15:11.825 --> 15:13.107
[SPEAKER_02]: So,
15:13.542 --> 15:18.895
[SPEAKER_02]: I was supposed to buy a house next door, but somebody else bought it.
15:19.060 --> 15:21.684
[SPEAKER_02]: I knew that, you know, that far, right?
15:21.964 --> 15:23.967
[SPEAKER_02]: But here's what happened after, right?
15:24.467 --> 15:26.170
[SPEAKER_02]: And listen, God bless.
15:26.290 --> 15:28.473
[SPEAKER_02]: They're almost ready to list it.
15:28.513 --> 15:29.634
[SPEAKER_02]: I hope it goes very well.
15:29.654 --> 15:30.796
[SPEAKER_02]: We have to go well, right?
15:30.816 --> 15:32.478
[SPEAKER_02]: Because it will affect the price of mine house.
15:32.999 --> 15:38.266
[SPEAKER_02]: But the bottom line is they build a fence on the other side of the house.
15:38.746 --> 15:40.068
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's an e-word that I know.
15:40.709 --> 15:49.000
[SPEAKER_02]: And then she came to me and say, hey, I think they build a fence on my land.
15:49.672 --> 15:55.621
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, well, well, well, let's first verify the date.
15:55.641 --> 15:59.167
[SPEAKER_01]: Get your checkbook out, get your checkbook out and you're at a pay me first.
15:59.187 --> 16:02.151
[SPEAKER_02]: No, no, I'm like, well, let's verify the date, right?
16:02.211 --> 16:03.734
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's see where he's your line.
16:03.754 --> 16:08.742
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you have a survey or the date I itself and then what's coming up for her?
16:08.822 --> 16:11.005
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's a very confident person.
16:11.373 --> 16:14.340
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, I don't want to bother them.
16:14.360 --> 16:17.849
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to delay anything for them.
16:17.869 --> 16:22.601
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to be dead neighbor for them.
16:22.681 --> 16:23.984
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, hold on a second.
16:24.144 --> 16:25.247
[SPEAKER_02]: Hold on a second.
16:25.598 --> 16:29.142
[SPEAKER_02]: You are not doing anything that is own fair.
16:29.522 --> 16:33.946
[SPEAKER_02]: First of all, as very far to date, I indeed, they were a couple of feet there.
16:34.007 --> 16:36.529
[SPEAKER_02]: And then she's like, okay, what's next?
16:36.549 --> 16:43.456
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, well, let's have a conversation with the individual and say, well, does not gonna work.
16:43.536 --> 16:55.268
[SPEAKER_02]: And then the individual said, well, we can have it on the contract when the new buyer gets it that you will have access to it if you need it on like, anyways,
16:55.248 --> 16:56.112
[SPEAKER_02]: Muddy.
16:56.594 --> 16:59.125
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me get a few opinions over here.
16:59.185 --> 17:01.113
[SPEAKER_02]: Anyway, long story short.
17:01.675 --> 17:03.925
[SPEAKER_02]: No, they're moving the pants.
17:03.989 --> 17:04.950
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, okay.
17:04.970 --> 17:05.571
[SPEAKER_01]: What did you do?
17:05.591 --> 17:25.958
[SPEAKER_02]: You're moving the fence and then she's like, I own you that because you gave me clarity and confidence into making the decision and I also talk to you encourage me to talk to a survey to the folks that my contractor that the bill defense as well to see it, what would be the impact.
17:26.098 --> 17:30.724
[SPEAKER_02]: There's a couple of items there that will impact a lot of different things, not just a simple fence.
17:30.744 --> 17:31.465
[SPEAKER_02]: They have a
17:31.445 --> 17:49.482
[SPEAKER_02]: I structure issue that should be taking care of, but in a nutshell, she's super confident now in really saying and standing her ground, they say, hey, does this actually my property and I actually need you to do that?
17:49.902 --> 17:51.644
[SPEAKER_01]: Lillian, as you guys didn't, did she know?
17:51.684 --> 18:00.912
[SPEAKER_01]: This isn't an interesting point about building your confidence to a support system, the right support system.
18:00.892 --> 18:01.633
[SPEAKER_01]: in real estate.
18:01.933 --> 18:03.535
[SPEAKER_01]: Or did she just ask you as a neighbor?
18:03.595 --> 18:05.557
[SPEAKER_01]: No, she knew it.
18:05.577 --> 18:10.382
[SPEAKER_02]: She knew it and that's why she's like really want to bring this to you.
18:11.483 --> 18:17.909
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that because you can you can go to a support system and ask them if it's a good time to invest in real estate or how it's a smart kid.
18:17.929 --> 18:19.951
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, you're the funny thing that you're saying now.
18:19.971 --> 18:23.595
[SPEAKER_02]: So she went to the other neighbor, right?
18:23.775 --> 18:30.342
[SPEAKER_02]: She works in a university and all of the said in both of them were knocking in my door because they didn't know
18:30.693 --> 18:31.094
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
18:31.394 --> 18:31.975
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
18:32.476 --> 18:32.977
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
18:32.997 --> 18:47.385
[SPEAKER_02]: That's actually what happened, but that's the funny thing is that she now feels not just confident but in peace that she made the right decision because I'm like, I want you to think ears down the road.
18:47.872 --> 18:56.320
[SPEAKER_02]: what can and cannot happen you want to make it right so you kind of like deal with it now or later or never.
18:56.621 --> 18:57.101
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
18:57.301 --> 18:58.062
[SPEAKER_02]: But I love that.
18:58.082 --> 18:59.784
[SPEAKER_02]: It's funny that you're breaking that down.
19:00.204 --> 19:01.025
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they book came.
19:01.826 --> 19:07.592
[SPEAKER_01]: They both came and then you have all these people you're like, listen, listen, come to invest your coin and we'll come with all these things.
19:07.832 --> 19:09.133
[SPEAKER_01]: There's no for me.
19:09.193 --> 19:12.557
[SPEAKER_01]: For me it's about there's different layers of support system.
19:12.977 --> 19:17.862
[SPEAKER_01]: And in just a you've really you've said this before is just because someone has experience in
19:17.842 --> 19:19.184
[SPEAKER_01]: they may not have done it right.
19:19.224 --> 19:19.724
[SPEAKER_00]: That's right.
19:19.844 --> 19:28.654
[SPEAKER_01]: And I could be a quote unquote real estate investor, but I'm actually an active investor growing my portfolio right now in this particular market.
19:28.794 --> 19:31.578
[SPEAKER_01]: Very different question than I had buy and hold 20 years ago.
19:31.678 --> 19:35.082
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, well that yeah, so did most people in the early 2000s.
19:35.462 --> 19:39.867
[SPEAKER_01]: So for me, working on this luxury build new build in my community.
19:39.847 --> 19:41.369
[SPEAKER_01]: I've done a lot of things in real estate.
19:41.429 --> 19:54.102
[SPEAKER_01]: I've never done this high of a priced luxury build, but my confidence in my ability to build a team and to manage the project kind of globally, not the day to day, because I, that's not necessarily my expertise.
19:54.522 --> 19:56.584
[SPEAKER_01]: But my confidence was, okay, I can do this.
19:56.644 --> 19:57.945
[SPEAKER_01]: I know I can pull a team together.
19:58.366 --> 20:09.297
[SPEAKER_01]: For me, I needed to know I had a support system behind me for questions and things that might come up that I have an experience, right?
20:09.277 --> 20:27.256
[SPEAKER_01]: That didn't stop me from doing the deal and making it happen, if that makes sense, and dress up, because I feel like I have, I do have a support system, you know, even within our community of mentors and mentees, my relationship with you, other women that I know, and having a plus team.
20:27.276 --> 20:34.103
[SPEAKER_01]: I think there is a layer of support system that is your team, and then a support system that's not getting paid.
20:34.083 --> 20:56.648
[SPEAKER_01]: right they're not on the payroll if you will of the project and those are the people you need desperately because you can't figure it all out with your own kind of court team like is this is what the you know a plan should should be and learning a lot about luxury appliances on dress on like oh I need to do so much to my house right now but the world has been open I'm like I don't need to do that right now but the point being is is a support system.
20:57.117 --> 21:04.248
[SPEAKER_01]: of women doing the work actively investing and passively investing in two days market.
21:04.749 --> 21:05.971
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that really matters, right?
21:05.991 --> 21:08.595
[SPEAKER_01]: And dress to go to someone that's done it 20 years ago.
21:08.615 --> 21:15.185
[SPEAKER_02]: You said something like, you can, if you don't have the confidence into something, you can borrow it.
21:15.526 --> 21:17.129
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, what the hell you're talking about?
21:17.750 --> 21:20.634
[SPEAKER_02]: How can you borrow the confidence from others?
21:20.794 --> 21:23.158
[SPEAKER_02]: And what you were saying is exactly that,
21:23.138 --> 21:29.959
[SPEAKER_02]: If you put yourself in a place where people have done what you're looking to do, they're a confidence.
21:30.614 --> 21:32.176
[SPEAKER_02]: It's going to be yours.
21:32.597 --> 21:41.750
[SPEAKER_02]: They will come down your nervous system per se, because how many women we had conversations with, they were like freaking out with whatever was happening, right?
21:42.531 --> 21:49.881
[SPEAKER_02]: Law suit or something that flood that happened in their brain, you know, the deals about to get, you just lose the deal at the end, 11th hour, right?
21:49.901 --> 21:55.489
[SPEAKER_02]: 11th hour, literally 11th hour, you're talking about to lose the deal a couple of hours, right?
21:55.609 --> 21:57.111
[SPEAKER_02]: And they're freaking out.
21:57.091 --> 22:04.803
[SPEAKER_02]: So when you are able to say, hey, take a breath, let me connect with somebody, wait a minute, did you try this?
22:05.204 --> 22:08.249
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, did you just shut off the water film?
22:08.870 --> 22:17.163
[SPEAKER_02]: Or, you know, anything that will kind of like, oh, I didn't think of that, because you are just relying on yourself.
22:17.263 --> 22:21.410
[SPEAKER_02]: So having a community is like having a support net.
22:22.231 --> 22:22.912
[SPEAKER_02]: Think about this.
22:23.774 --> 22:24.735
[SPEAKER_02]: You will make
22:25.475 --> 22:28.173
[SPEAKER_02]: many more decisions confidently.
22:28.193 --> 22:29.663
[SPEAKER_02]: If you know
22:30.166 --> 22:37.158
[SPEAKER_02]: that if you fall, you have somebody that will support your figure things out and you're not alone.
22:37.178 --> 22:41.144
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not about just like, okay, how can I avoid it?
22:41.645 --> 22:43.288
[SPEAKER_02]: You might have avoided a lot.
22:43.568 --> 22:49.017
[SPEAKER_02]: If you rely on the community and share with them, hey, I'm about to do this partnership.
22:49.178 --> 22:53.144
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm about to land 500,000 into this deal.
22:53.625 --> 22:54.546
[SPEAKER_02]: This is a structure.
22:54.607 --> 22:56.089
[SPEAKER_02]: Those are the terms.
22:56.390 --> 22:57.512
[SPEAKER_02]: Is it green light?
22:57.552 --> 22:59.134
[SPEAKER_02]: Yellow or red flag?
22:59.354 --> 23:00.155
[SPEAKER_02]: Right, trade up.
23:01.357 --> 23:06.144
[SPEAKER_02]: You will reduce your risk and make much more confident decisions.
23:06.544 --> 23:09.729
[SPEAKER_02]: It's called a social buffering list in psychology.
23:10.650 --> 23:22.026
[SPEAKER_02]: When you really have people around you that you can leverage their resources, their intelligence,
23:22.917 --> 23:26.020
[SPEAKER_02]: Then you're, you're really powerful.
23:26.080 --> 23:30.824
[SPEAKER_02]: One thing that I said to my neighbor, she laughed, we were talking.
23:31.465 --> 23:34.908
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, I'm gonna go back to him and say exactly what you said to me here.
23:34.928 --> 23:43.595
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go there and have this conversation literally like, I was coaching her and she was going there to talk to the guy, hopefully he is not listening right now.
23:43.616 --> 23:50.882
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, so then I said to her, he doesn't know he's not dealing with only you.
23:51.790 --> 24:01.204
[SPEAKER_02]: He's dealing with you, me, my resources, everybody that I am reach out to the book track, the information.
24:01.765 --> 24:02.867
[SPEAKER_02]: So he doesn't know that.
24:03.508 --> 24:05.711
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, yes, he doesn't know that.
24:05.872 --> 24:08.736
[SPEAKER_02]: He's thinking that I'm just a regular neighbor.
24:08.716 --> 24:14.146
[SPEAKER_02]: and I have all of you behind me instructing me and guiding me through.
24:14.186 --> 24:17.852
[SPEAKER_02]: So I feel the same way with the women adding vast heart.
24:17.912 --> 24:18.794
[SPEAKER_02]: You're not alone.
24:18.834 --> 24:22.881
[SPEAKER_02]: You have a community of over 50,000 women behind you, honey.
24:23.382 --> 24:25.787
[SPEAKER_02]: So you better not gonna let you fall.
24:26.267 --> 24:33.340
[SPEAKER_02]: So if you're listening to it and you really feel like the need, like the call, to say,
24:34.315 --> 24:38.039
[SPEAKER_02]: done actually doing this on my own.
24:38.280 --> 24:47.010
[SPEAKER_02]: And I really want powerful group of women that I can trust that I can rely on when shit hits the fan, they will jump in.
24:48.292 --> 24:50.614
[SPEAKER_02]: Please, you found us.
24:51.756 --> 25:02.989
[SPEAKER_02]: The point is,
25:03.087 --> 25:10.402
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're listening to this episode until the end, is because you resonate with everything that we are saying to you here.
25:10.442 --> 25:14.229
[SPEAKER_02]: So, make a decision.
25:14.290 --> 25:16.033
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what to do.
25:17.127 --> 25:20.130
[SPEAKER_02]: It's on your core, the boys in your core right now.
25:20.971 --> 25:28.018
[SPEAKER_02]: June 14th and 16 Scott Steyra is on a, we'll leave the link below, Join InvestorCon.
25:28.599 --> 25:30.761
[SPEAKER_02]: It's an interactive event.
25:31.482 --> 25:33.264
[SPEAKER_02]: You're going to be doing the work there.
25:33.884 --> 25:38.850
[SPEAKER_02]: You're going to leave, not with new strategies, but with a support system.
25:39.210 --> 25:42.674
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's a commitment that Liz and I will guarantee.
25:43.575 --> 25:46.898
[SPEAKER_02]: And you bet, you can come and say,
25:46.878 --> 25:49.302
[SPEAKER_02]: You said that on the podcast, that's what I'm here.
25:49.683 --> 25:50.644
[SPEAKER_02]: Come here.
25:50.664 --> 25:50.925
[SPEAKER_02]: All right.
25:50.945 --> 25:52.167
[SPEAKER_02]: I will leave you the link below.
25:52.687 --> 25:54.010
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you so much for listening.
25:55.732 --> 25:56.774
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for listening.
25:57.055 --> 26:00.260
[SPEAKER_02]: I hope you found today's conversation valuable.
26:00.681 --> 26:04.306
[SPEAKER_02]: And don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss any future episodes.
26:04.887 --> 26:07.612
[SPEAKER_02]: Make sure this with the women in your life, many Sue here.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I'll see you next week.
